|The Cevennes - my new spiritual home|
In some ways I feel that nothing has changed, and the promising omens from my dream (see the first part of this article) haven't come into reality at all. In other ways, I definitely do feel different.
Spending the last weeks of summer and the equinox in the almost-solitude of a small remote village in southern France - mostly for my husband's singing course, but also to find some much needed spiritual guidance - has had a big impact on me. Being away from cities and many of the trappings of modern society, life suddenly felt a lot more intense again. The mountains, the river and the surrounding forest radiated with a life force that most people seem to have completely forgotten. It was magical, but also much more real than the lives we make up in our little urban brain boxes. Wasn't that the real life?
I swore to myself then and there that I would bring this state of aliveness and deep presence back with me into my everyday life. Of course, some of its intensity did fade over the months. But I do have a compass now; an ideal that I can strive towards. And I am succeeding more often at attaining it, because I remember how I want to feel.
Singing helps a lot too. I have never found another art form, not even drawing, that connects me so immediately with the present moment. Of course singing is also the most ridiculously optimistic thing you can do in a world that has basically forgotten how to sing except in uninspired casting shows.
Pure magic. And I'm doing it all by myself.
And then there's Yoga. I'm still an absolute beginner, but I have experienced sensations similar to orgasm just by lying flat on the floor and feeling into my body.
Yes, those have been my most valuable spiritual teachers in the last few months.
The circle of wise kindred souls from my dream? Not in sight. I would lie if I said that it doesn't bother me. I long for a group of human beings I can practice my path with on a regular basis. But they aren't there or live far away in another country. Most of the people I consider spiritual in my circle of friends walk their path by themselves (as I do), are Yogis, New Agers or reject any label, and although we share some of our discoveries and insights into the human condition in conversations, our practices differ quite a lot.
The Yoga people come closest to a common spiritual practice, but my interest in the eastern paths is more about finding connections to my own native European traditions.
Still, I hope there will be other time again when I will be in the company of likeminded people again. And until then, I am happy walking my own path all by myself (why do I have to think of Mariah Carey now?).
Sigh... sometimes I wish for a coven of witches to rescue me. But that's another topic entirely.